


Milky Joe prompt fic

by howardmoon (iamjustabi)



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 16:48:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2158011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamjustabi/pseuds/howardmoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vince and Howard have argued and gone their separate ways.  Once it becomes clear they won’t get any action from Ruby or Precious, Vince tries to apologize for saying that Howard has nobody waiting for him at home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Milky Joe prompt fic

For the first time in his life, Vince felt lonely. Normally, Vince was surrounded by the usual crowd of adoring trendies and Camden groupies, and if not, then there was always Howard. Vince usually couldn’t stand being alone, but in that moment, he would’ve chosen being alone over the suffocating, awkward silence he had to suffer. He hoped Howard was finding it annoying too, but knowing him, he was probably loving it- perfecting his “tortured poet/author/jazz maverick/cyclist/stamp collector” look. 

He quickly glanced over his shoulder too see what Howard was up to, to see if he was still trying to get it on with Precious. Vince made sure he wasn’t noticed looking Howard’s way and therefore breaking his façade of the cool and aloof, yet cheerful and sunshiny Prince of Camden- the version of himself that really didn’t need Howard pretty much 24/7. He then turned his head to face Ruby, searching in her eyes for the deep and torrid passion they once felt for each other, albeit briefly (approximately 12 minutes), but to his despair, found nothing.

Vince sighed and turned to see Howard pretty much doing the exact same thing he had done, but in reverse: he sighed, searched for love in Precious’s eyes, and then looked over in Vince’s direction, only to jerkily look away when he saw that Vince was already looking his way. Howard coughed and then proceeded to fondle his moustache distractedly, which as of late, had become distinctly bushier. Vince, in general, had noticed Howard going through a few physical changes.  
Whilst most people go through puberty in their teenage years and then later on have a mid-life crisis, Howard seemed to be constantly having some sort of existential crisis and apparently now was the time for him to man up. Since they’d moved into the flat, Howard’s cappuccino stain of a moustache had definitely progressed into and past the mocha stage. Howard had also become broader, and although Vince didn’t think he had gotten any taller, he was definitely starting to look like a manly masculine man of action.  
Howard was infinitely self-conscious about his extra weight, and Vince realised he probably wasn’t helping him out much in the self-esteem department with the occasional comment he would make, but secretly, Vince had to admit that he loved Howard’s new(ish) look. He felt like Howard had a more protective vibe going on, and he enjoyed feeling substantially smaller than Howard just a little too much, especially when Vince forced Howard to go out with him. Although people had always mistaken Vince for Howard’s ugly wife/girlfriend, now he felt like he had passed the stage of looking like Howard’s female partner. Now, he thought, it looked more as if he belonged to Howard, his slim androgynous figure walking down the street next to his big, broad man. His man, no one else’s- Vince belonged to Howard just as much as Howard belonged to Vince (even if Howard didn’t know it). Howard didn’t belong with no Precious or Milky Joe or anyone, Vince thought to himself, and he was gonna make sure of that.  
Vince got up and propped up Ruby against the side of his hut.

“Sorry, Ruby. It was fun whilst it lasted, but we both know it ain’t gonna work out between us. Thanks for everything, but yeah. I’ll see you around, maybe.”  
At the sound of these words, the propped up Ruby fell over. She was taking it badly, bless her. She was very sweet, but Vince knew it would be better for the both of them in the long run.

“Well, take care of yourself and all. Bye Ruby.”

Then Vince turned his back on her and made his way to the other side of the island. He cautiously approached Howard, and saw that Precious too, wasn’t with Howard anymore. Vince hesitated and then sat down next to Howard. Howard turned away slightly from Vince and grumpily jerked his shoulder away when Vince tried to affectionately rub it, but he made no action to move or go have a sulk elsewhere.

“Hi, Howard.” Vince said softly

“Vince.” Howard replied in a cold and harsh tone

They sat together in silence for a moment or two. Vince hadn’t really thought about what to do once he was sat with Howard. He’d never been too good with plans; that had always been Howard’s strong point. Even if the plan wasn’t great, Howard always had one. Vince had to say something though, because sitting in silence with Howard was just as bad as sitting on the opposite end of the island, maybe even worse.

“Howard.”

Silence.

“I’m really sorry Howard.”

“What for?” He grumbled

“Well, y’know… For everything really…”

“I’m looking for specifics, Vince. I need more than just a simple apology.”

“Well… Firstly I’m sorry for not sharing what I had when you drew the sand in the line. You were angry and I guess I deserved for you to be angry, ‘cos I was kinda mean to you an’ all… An’ then when you didn’t have anything ‘cos you drew the line in the wrong place, well I should’ve shared with you or at least let you redraw the line…”

Vince paused to think. He knew what he’d done wrong, but he wanted to apologise right. He had been kinda nasty to Howard as of late and he wanted to make it up to him.

“I’m also sorry for making things difficult with Ruby and Precious and all that. If I hadn’t showed off all my stuff you wouldn’t of had Milky Joe and I… I wouldn’t of been jealous and the-“

“You were jealous?”

“’Course I was Howard. I couldn’t compete with Milky Joe... He was clever and sophisticated and everything that you like, and well I’m just me.”

“Where’s this all coming from Vince?” said Howard, who seemed genuinely concerned

“Come on Howard.. Y’must know by now…”

Vince himself wasn’t really sure where this was all coming from, but he figured, if he was gonna apologise, then being honest and confessing the feelings he had developed for Howard would a pretty good way to guilt him into accepting it. 

“Know what?” said Howard looking baffled

“How I… feel about you”

“I know that Vince. You think that I’m an old, jazzy freak. I thought you were trying to apologise.”

“No, no, no Howard. That’s not what I think at all!”

“It’s not?”

“Well I do think you’re quite a jazzy person, and you’re definitely not getting any younger but-”

“Hey!”

“Let me finish! Despite our differences… I really like you, Howard.”

“I like you too Vince.” Howard replied cheerfully and obliviously. He was obviously happy to hear that Vince did, in fact, like him, but he also obviously had no idea exactly how much he did. “Well I think I can forgive you this time, but believe me, if you cross me again little man I’ll come at you like a-”

“I’m still not finished!” Vince interrupted, waving his arms around desperately in attempt to shush Howard “I’ve got one last thing to say.”

Vince wanted to make Howard know how much he liked him, loved him even, now he came to think about it, so he paused to think of the right words. He tended to get them all messed up, especially when he was nervous, and now really wasn’t the time for him to say the wrong thing.

“…Well?”

“Howard I’m sorry for saying you had nobody waiting for you at home.” Vince blurted out

“Oh that? It’s fine Vince. We both know I was fooling myself… I haven’t got any women waiting for me, let alone beautiful ones. Even my mum-“

“That’s not what I mean Howard. What I mean is… You might think you’re alone in the world sometimes. I know how you get, I’ve seen you y’know… giving yourself Chinese burns when you think nobody is lookin’,” Howard cringed upon hearing Vince saying this “and it makes me sad, Howard. It makes me sad to think that you’d hurt yourself ‘cos you think you’re not good enough or ‘cos you feel alone, Howard, because you’re really great and really not alone. An’ no matter how many times I go out with my Camden trendies, I’m always gonna come home to you… And it really doesn’t matter where “home” is, if it’s the Zooniverse or the flat, or y’know, even a desert island, it’ll always be home, as long as you’re there. ‘Cos… Howard… I love you, Howard, and I’m not just saying it. I love all of you in all the possible ways to love someone.”

Howard and Vince sat in silence. Howard couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Him! Vince loved him! Howard had always imagined that one day, eventually, Vince would settle down with one of his cool friends and they would start a little family, and that maybe, if he was lucky, Vince wouldn’t forget about him entirely and he could be weird Uncle Howard. But never, never in his wildest dreams had he thought that Vince would want to be with him! Howard felt a warm, powerful feeling surge up from the pit of his stomach and directly to his heart. This was it. This was his time to become the man of action he always knew he could be. 

Howard gathered Vince up and held him close with one arm, and used the other to gently guide Vince’s face upwards, so that their eyes met. He was about to carefully let their lips meet in a beautiful chaste, yet passionate kiss when, obviously, Vince couldn’t wait any longer. Vince surged forward, knocking them both over, kissing the living daylights out of him.

**Author's Note:**

> So I may or may not write a second part to this fic which would have smut in it, but it depends if anyone wants me to or not, so yeah... if u would like that then let me know :)
> 
> Also this was the first boosh fic i've ever written and i didn't have a beta so if anyone would be interested in beta-ing any future stuff i do than pleeeease tell me :3


End file.
